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<a wytiwyg="1" href="www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?…"<Uunca Run Cycle
Aida L. Ortiz Ralph
I'm an artist, scientist, gamer, tutor and more. If put my heart into something, there is nothing I can't do. If you want a work of art made for you, provide time and I can blow your mind away. You want to learn some thing new? I can teach you a thing or two. Want someone to have your back on some of the latest XBOX Live games, I got you covered. Want to share your ideas and thoughts on the world? Sure, my mind's wide open. Typical Gal'? Not in my vocabulary. You'll find that the things I do just might surprise you.
My name is Aida L. Ortiz Ralph. Also known as Andromeda. Nakumah here on DA.
Welcome to my profile.
Nakumah on Facebook
Spanish speakers are welcome. I'm quite bilingual and can keep up with any conversation.
Take a look at this picture... If you think I'm a nut...
YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO THINKS SO!
My Uuncas in Uunca Prides Are: (For those who want to Know...)
Recently done for me:
Stay On Top!
Nakumah Arts Policies
Hi guys, this is going to be a bit long and as you may guess, it's a copy paste journal of a series of notes, letters, etc. that I have been writing to you during my offline status. I'm not dead, ignoring you or have abandoned deviantArt to collect dust. I've only become a ghost because of current situations at home. I don't remember whether or not I've mentioned this, but there is no internet in our new home. A home that I spent my last paychecks to date to pay for so my parents only had to concentrate on my father's wellbeing and getting him prepped for social security.
What have I been doing in between? Well besides my endless quest for grandeur (FYI: Job searching) I've been roaming all over the place, familiar and new, to learn on how to go about selling my handwork. Such as my crafts, paintings, jewelry, etc. Great news, I got permission to sell everything on me on the weekends at Mercado Plaza, Naranjito, PR. It's like a drive in mall. Small town area 😊. It's a low charge no subscription needed to sell there. $25 for a full week end. A sweet deal compared to $1000 a month for a kiosk or similar. All I need is a new table. Which if my August check is big enough I can get. The rest is just building up inventory and self-promotion. I'm doing that and by the time you get to finally read this I may already have enough stalk to start my first week sale.
You may also like to know that I've been keeping up on my commissions and the clients who ordered them. On DA and local. I'm giving DA the current Priority status since local commissioning has dropped significantly. No thanks to our dear governor and his quacks. But I'm tired of rambling on about that. If you're worried about me, note me and I'll tell you all about it. It's a long story so try to bare it XD.
How's dad? He's so and so. His mood could be better, but at least he's not acting like he's given up anymore. We're still taking him in for draining every two weeks. It still goes 9L each time. Still worries me, but I don't show it. If I do… let's just say my depression has proven to be contagious XD. Dark emo punkness seeps out of me and suddenly everyone's feeling extremely down or weepy. But could you blame us? We're dodging bullets and skipping tombstones here with nothing but prayers and pocket change. If "La Tarjeta de la Familia" hadn't worked out when it did, we'd be even worse state of stress compared to the breathable room we are in now. By the way, that’s basically the food stamps card the government gives you when there's nothing else to support you at the moment. It's meant to be temporary. But people wind up tangled in dependence of it when their hopes in boosting individual economy goes down the bottomless hole in the ground, if you catch my drift. On a side note…. My dad is going to have a bizarre operation that, as I understood it -was half asleep at the time (bad Aida, bad)- involves sending a scope through my dad's jugular vein to travel all the way to his liver to see what's going on in him and how to fix it. He's acting like it's no big deal. I'm pretending to be calm about it… but it’s a risky operation. A lot can go wrong when nudging and slipping something in an out of your neck and heart is involved. I'm praying that the person who's going to do it is a genius at what he's doing and not a quick study. I want my dad to see and hold my kids one day if I ever do have them. Not currently in a relationship and probably won't be for a while… -_-
On a side note, big sis has been doing rotational stays at our house and at her Fiancé's house. I keep thinking Boy Friend, but their engaged XD. Still waiting on that ring XD and priest. She seems happy when she's with him. And he's been doing me a favor and talking some sense into her when she gets too sad and down. She hasn't been posting on her DA because of her ups and downs. Every time she seems to find something to smile about, something just shows up and tears off that smile and pastes it back on upside down. Last weekend was the worst. Do you guys remember that cat I rescued called Choco? Did I ever mention the cutest darling Saul rescued whom I was calling Cheese for her love of the food? Well if not then maybe this won't hurt as much to you as it did me and sis. She helped raise both cats and considered them to be like, well, her babies. They were raised separately. Choco with us, Cheese with Saul. Choco was about a year and three months when as you can guess, he met death. Cheese was most likely to be half his age or at least three months younger than him. They both found dead last week. From what I heard, they were found lying together dead somewhere in the yard. Somewhat eaten by the stray dogs I've been tempted to herbal knockout and deliver to the pound personally for a while now. Not only did they murder these babes, they tore at my laundry, tried to ruin my quilt, got me in trouble more times than I care to count by getting into the garbage and so much more. It takes a lot for me to come to hate a creature. More than it does for me to hate a person. I felt rage when I heard the news especially when I knew what it would do to sis. She has the most softest and gentlest heart. I was right on my assumption when I figured that it would tear her heart out, regardless of whether she cried or not. What hurt the most is when I almost had her convinced that not all dogs are untamed rabineous wild dumb animals, that they can be gentle giants, she told me that she officially hated all dogs save for Westley, my current pup (their brother, dang it, who I took early on and raised him into the barking bunny rabbit he is today -so cute) and Poncho, my last neighbors' Chesapeake bay lab mix. It hurt. It frigging hurt so much to hear her say that. Unless you knew her and how hard I worked my butt off to encourage the idea of dogs, or at least are a true dog lover, you have no idea how much it hurt to hear her say that.
Thankfully, grace was on my side yesterday. A hope that she could still love dogs and cats as much as I do. One of my new neighbors owned a Siberian black and white husky male and a Alaskan rust and amber husky female who are a mated pair and had bared pups just a few short weeks ago. I was interested from the start since it was the closest you can get to what was our shared dream dog: The Malamute. I like the Siberian Malamute. She has a preference for the artic white Alaskan malamute. I talked to both of them, sis and Saul, especially Saul, about it. Saul couldn't afford a purchase but he said he'd adopt if it was free. I then rushed to my neighbor and talked to her about it. I didn't give her a life story. All I said was, "Hi, noticed you had puppies and I was wondering if it was ok to adopt one. Huskies and Malamutes are among my favorite dogs." I had sis waiting across the street with West'. The owner was a bit surprised to meet me out of the blue. She gave me a good alpha mom look and said "I only have one left, that's her over there. Why do you want her?" I fell in love immediately. She had a gray wolf's pelt. Mactire's Pelt!!! Namu's dad. Complimented with German shepherd markings. Mom and daddy husky gave birth to a crawling beauty.
"To be honest, she's not for me. I already have a dog, there he is." I pointed my black bundle of play who was with sis. "She's actually a gift for my sister, Inez. She's the one holding my dog, Westley."
"Yeah, I've been trying to get her one for a while."
"Well if you promise to take care of her, she's yours." my heart sang. I gave her my deepest gratitude, a $300-$1000 puppy, she let me take home for free because I was honest about it. I assured her that she'd be well cared for, treated for parasites and trained. I let her know that o had enough experience with other dogs especially large breeds -my fav's- and she would have nothing to worry about. Needless to say, everyone was shocked when I brought her home. I made sure sis and Saul bonded with her the most by taking over cooking and cleaning as much as could after sis fed dad his birthday dinner surprise. Westley was the best. My hero yesterday. He didn't get jealous. He was very curious, a little excited to meet her but after a quick heart to heart half gestured talk he understood that she was still too little to play where's he's almost six months old, lied down next to her, nose tapped, cuddled and tip-licked her hears. They relaxed together for a good while. I rewarded him by playing with him for a good hour. Now if only I could get him to stop stepping on his poop and eating clay dirt -_-. Lil' nut needs a power wash. Never mind the baths. Sis and Saul have called the new member of the family Erza. Yes… just like Fairy Tail's Erza. They've taken her home - Saul's home- and are working together to raise her there. I will be visiting every so often to help train. Sis can train dogs, but the idea still makes her a bit nervous. LOL, can wait to see her stand 3.2 feet tall. Lil' stray devils better learn to run. The alphas are in the HOUSE! And like Lady, my sister's soon to be mother in law's dog -a Malamute- Erza is bound to become queen of the hill, literally. Since she and Westley already seem to be getting along, I'm looking forward to walking them together.
Well that's it for this letter. Tune in for the next one or just continue reading. I really don't know when this will be posted but I'm going to post it just as it is.
Goodnight. It's 12:47am right now.
<(~^~)> -Zzz Zzz Zzz
Today's fun facts about me…
Dream Dogs: Siberian Malamutes (be it Silver Back, Gray Wolf Pelt or Artic White) and Iron Back German Shepherd
Favorite Family Dogs: Labradors and Labrador mixes. Any color, any size.
Favorite Labor Dogs: Labradors and Huskies
Favorite Guard Dogs: German Shepherd, Doberman Pincher, and Dogos (the big boys).
Favorite Toy Dog: Average Chihuahua (mexican)
Least favorite: Rottweiler's, toy Scottish terriers.
Current Dog: None of your business.
Most adopted dogs to date : Strays and rescues. Lab mixes, Chihuahuas and bulls. Once owned a Dane mix. He showed evidence of Dane, Pit-bull and bull mastiff.
Generally, I'll love just about any dog breed. Especially those who are gentle with family but ever vigilant of strangers. I'm not the kind of person who expects someone to get hurt when they trespass. But if they are dumb enough to try, the DOG is the LEAST of your problems. -_- I don't appreciate thieves.
Hi, long time no see. Today's, if you can call it that -it's 1am now-, been a bit annoying yet fun at the same time. Had to prep for a storm that may hit us later on today. That means water storage and everything else we islanders do when we hear the famous "big storm coming, not a hurricane yet but it could be". Either way, I hope it does arrive. At least a small part of it. We're suffering a drought and needless to say no one is telling the truth on TV other than the fact that we're suffering from it, our agriculture will be scarred for a while by it if it's not taken care of soon and that were now under a rations curfew. Yippee…. Not.
In other interests, or disinterests, take your pick… I've been going through sis' and my novel papers. There's too much to even start telling you about it. Lol and the short version of our world is even more extensive and too long to tell also. And with a rat in the house my paranoia is growing. Gotta sort them out before that rat gets the best of me. Sad… one of our recent characters involves a rat and yet all I can think about is how to get rid of this one. Sorry "Mr. Mickey McVillain" don't mean to hurt your feelings. Sorry huys, not giving you his real name or anything else. For the record, he doesn't even look like a rat XD.
I'm also a little annoyed on how long it's taking me to finish Eradrom's Lumina hood. Not to mention I had to remake her mask. Its ugly in my opinion. After working so hard it didn't come out right. LOL. Sis I blame you XD. Your always making complicated characters. I'm nearly gone off and worked 16 hours or more and it's still not finished. Ugh… On the bright side I learned a few new tricks and techniques for my hand sowing that you guys just might like. I'll elaborate further later on I guess.
I'm also creating a Booklet. I think I've mentioned that already but oh well. It's turning out to be a bit more complicated than I thought. It's a lot of fun to design though. The artistic appeal of it? I think it's safe to say that that much has been completed. It's everything else that's a bit of a pain. Like the policy section. Normally it would be easy… if I had the printed copy with me. But I don't. AND I don't have the internet access right now to go and get it. Figures…. Plus I have yet to find out if my last summer job paycheck came in yet. It's annoying. But patience is a virtue they say. Unfortunately there are days that I'm not so gracious so I keep to myself so I don't do something inappropriate due to my lack of patience. Bur enough about that bit. I'm going to be detailing most if not all my immediate products in it and it's meant to be a free pdf download. It will include an order form, hopefully simple enough when I'm through, so that if you see something you like and want a custom order of it you can just print the pages to it, fill them, sign them and either mail or email them back to me so we can get started on the exchange process. PS: For those of you who have trouble with PayPal, hate it or simply don’t have it thus can't use your bank accounts for it… I will be accepting money orders. You can get those at the post office or any supermarket that prints them. If you chose this method you have to include it in your envelope along with the order form and mail it to me. There will be an address in the booklet where you can send it to. Same goes for email addresses. If you email your order, your billing will be sent through PayPal unless you select that you prefer a different payment method. More derails on the booklet. I hope this helps some of you and is pleasing, if not all.
Am I putting stuff on hold? No, it just looks that way because I'm doing a lot at once. Frankly its making me a cranky person at home. Life is complicated that way when you have to go with your gut and guns and can't depend on the hope of someone giving you a job… -_- I'm seriously starting to doubt my chances of moving out, getting a doctorate, and building a stable economy or environment for me to get married and have children. I really hope Our novels work out or at least one of our teaser tales that are a side story makes a hit, no matter how short it actually is. Our tales often bring up more questions than answers and each next telling answers some questions that weren't answered in the previous one. Not sure if you noticed but that's how we write.
Speaking of… once I finish filling in the gaps between "Harsh Weather" to "Ambasadors to Ambala" don't be surprised if Namu's story hits a slight stand still. Like I said, I'm doing lots at once and my main priority in writing is those novels I keep rumoring about. A shame you really know nothing about them seeing as I'm trying to uphold secrecy. But that's just how it is sometimes. On the bright side, it's possible that you may get a glimpse in the future through Madefire's Motion Books and Comics. One of our novels is perfect for a comic and another both as a written novel or a graphic novel has enough mature themes to be felt as if it were a Manga. No, I don't mean sex. But I do mean violence… blood violence. Most of our novels are great for young teens 12 and up, but these two I'm referring to will be far more appealing to the young adult and maybe spooky to the kids. One is enthusiastically action packed while the other includes action but leans more towards horror and suspense. And no… I don't mean the crap you find in theaters now days. Everything is gore now and no real horror involved. The teaser tale I'm telling you about, has something to do with this one.
But of all the novels we have written, sorted, and literally drawn out. The one I want to see done, even as a motion book, is the one we're doing now. It's awesome. You guys just might like it too. We're passing our notes and getting the writing together so we can getter done.
Well, that's all for now. See ya later… I hope.
"They say I am evil, and so I am. That is how society works in the modern age. Nothing good you do matters. You are evil, and that is that. Your children will be seen as hellions, much as you are. Viewed as demons in human skin. And for all the prayers you send for the world, the world will fear your words as a curse and shun you. You will pray to your god, and the world will reply that you have none. They don't believe that you pray for good, but that you are chanting evil, thus you must be stopped. Any good advice is seen as a voice of venom, any recital of a page, blasphemy. Prophesy will unfold before you and you will try to warn them, but all in vain. After all… you are evil no? So why would they ever listen to you. In the end, we all go to hell anyway."
Sad… how often is this proven true?
"Better to live and die alone than to love and then always be betrayed." Where have I heard this?
"Cancer gives more results than suicide. It forces those around you to watch you die as you slowly weed out those who used you from those who actually cared. After all, everyone shows up at your funeral, and more come to hear out your will like an already won lottery."
that’s a creepy truth right there and it is new to me.
"Doing things to please others all the time will only lead to your undoing. No one is ever satisfied and everything is never enough." I know the feeling.
"Remember, the truth pleases no one, so just say it as it is rather than being pleasant. Better to be stoned for honesty than to be praised for blasphemy only to be put to the stake later."
Everyone hates me for it.
"Everyone fears but longs for death at some point. They're just not willing to admit it."
So many have told me…
"All will despise what you are. Only one will truly love you for who you are." Hm…
Ignore me… I'm sore and depressed.
Got the table, the table cloth, the basic cashier's box and…. Westley has decided to call it strength display day and has made it his mission to make sure I saw his now broken chain… He ran up to me and then led me back to it so playfully. Ugh… he's special. At least he didn't run away. Which means he loves me enough to stay. Unfortunately I have to replace it now. And until I can, he's gonna have to accept the short leash for a while. I've been walking him so he's mostly fine with it. But he's hyper so its 5 minutes of relaxation on the chain until he sees me and starts jumping higher than his own height XD.
Some personal issues during the week so do me a favor and don't ask about it. Not going to talk about it.
On the bright side, the storm postponed the water rationing curfew. I think I mentioned that already. Oh well. Anyhoo's I've made some jewelry that I'll be selling at my table. Will be posting pics so you can see them . Same with a few new mask styles. Mom asked if I can make her some arm and leg warmers to go with the hood I made for her a while back. Neetoh for me. Will take picks of all I make so you guys can view that too.
New fridge!!! And it's big on the inside. This just might mean less can food and more fresh. But that can inventory will still have to be maintained. It's storm season until October and with "El Niño" going off and about in the equator, you will never know if it'll be just one or 13 storms coming at ya. Sorry Florida, but you just happen to be in the spot where all the storms curve. Puerto Rico is basically where the storms stop to "grow" due to our warm waters. It's the same with Cuba. And for the love of god, if you're in the area where the storms headed your way, take our advice for once and prepare at least one week ahead just in case and don’t wait until it's on the beach. People like us were ignored when New York was hit. -_-
With El Niño being happy camper, you can expect category 3-5 storms forming in september. Yes, there will be hurricanes. Trust me, as a "Storm Child" I would know. (child born during the hurricane/typhoon or Monsoon season) - sooo many birthdays cut short of missed out on because of it. My birthday used to be celebrated on 9/11. But that’s a holiday now so its often celebrated on the 9th or the 12th. I have warned you. Take of it what you will. 😊
I finished the Lumina hood. Now it's just the mask.
The digital art commissions are all over the place as I juggle them in my tight schedule. Left lots of resume's along the way.
My college bill and graduation is finally paid for… now it's just about helping raise enough money for rent, my dad's last few ER visits, and his past appointment. Another $500 for starters. Gonna try and do that by continuing to build up my inventory and sell away as much as I can.
Wish me luck.
Guys… I have crappy news.
Other than those that have been previously paid, agreed upon or traded for already, I will no longer be taking on digital commissions for an indefinite amount of time. I need to take care of what's already on my lap before I take on anything else. Maybe when things improve I'll open the shop up again, but until then, that part of the shop is closed. I just personally find it wrong to make you guys wait so long for something because of whatever mishaps that happen at home or otherwise. I know you guys have been patient, maybe even too patient. But even I know when something is ridiculous. And professionally speaking, it's not excusable. So that's that. Sorry, I really am. I know some of you were looking forward to more art and stuff but things are just not going well.
I'm not abandoning DA. No way, no sir. That's not what's going on here. But I am closing the commissions bussiness for any new ones coming up after this post is finally made.
As for the question about T-Shirt graphic printing. If you hate iron ons, there's spreadshirt.com. You can have your T graphic uploaded for free (if you have your free account with them) and just pay only for the Tshirt you want it printed on. They'll professionally print it on for you. Ship it to you and walla, your own special t with your own special graphic.
I for one need a new frigging printer and some T's to put some basic designs on.
How's my life been… How to start?
Lately it's been quite routine. I wake up unmotivated and then I think of 6 or so reasons why to get up and do something. I eat, clean, tend to Westley, sow a bit, cook dinner after a few hours then go to bed after a repeated cycle of eating and cleaning. In between I have had to resort to playful pestilence , quite immaturely I might add, for attention. At the end of the day I return to reality and have to swallow the fact that from a mere mortal's perspective… I truly am alone. If I start a conversation it quickly converts into a list of complaints about some other person. I'm exhausted of all the complaints… I'm sure many of you are too. My sister isn't here with me so I really don't have anyone to turn to for a decent conversation that's willing to stick around. Other than my parents that is, and well… Westley. Nothing against them but dad isn't really the kind of person you just walk up to for a chat and mom is more into reading books. As for Westley… he's my pup. So unless he starts speaking English the conversation is pretty much one sided.
In addition, nearly no one really calls or writes me. Those that do can 't actually reach me since their using the web to do it and I have no internet while those who call, I can't really answer because my phone is disconnected 80% percent of the time since I have no money to keep the line open.
Also I feel as if my college years are fruitless. No one wants to hire me, even less a scientist. Everything is volunteer work and no paychecks. I can't even get hired as an intern at some big shot's thesis study. And apparently being available 24/7 and is comfortable with every animal except bugs, spiders and leaches is just too good to be true. Well too bad, because it is. I for one dooo like pythons, rats, lizzards, and all the other creepy crawlies. I don't adopt because I don't want the cuter babes to be eaten or worse…. One of the "creepies" escapes the habitat and eats the others… like the python.
I have no boyfriend because no one wants to "venture through the mountains" to get me, literally. And those that are around present the usual menu: Too young, too old, not interested, not interesting, taken, gay, bi, alcoholic or simply wants free sex but no herpes. WHAT??? So yes I'm single, no I've never been laid, yes I want to be married, no I don't want to get married just so they can have rights for intercourse, or babies and then dump me for the next chick that shows up. I want commitment, respect and loyalty. Is that too much to ask? I mean… we can have fun without having to sleep with each other. Why is that so hard?
I've finally built up a reasonable inventory but now what? I have no $25 for my first week end sale. And my university hasn't called back on the artisans event in November. I'm stuck!! Again. On top of that, just as I explained earlier… I need to raise 500+ dollars for rent, my dad's past appointments and ER visits and those still to come. Plus Westley's vaccinations. They're $100 for the combo and eval.
I'm depressed, angry, and have nowhere to really ventilate. I can only smile and play mediator. I miss you guys. I miss my family, the friends I used to have, and the people who used to come around when we needed them. It's lonely out here and I realize it now that no one I'm blood related to that is abroad even remembers me. Most don't even know I exist. They only know because of some fat chance they found my mother on Facebook and they only talk to her. Save Shawn. Out of all my cousins abroad, he's one of the only few actually trying to keep in touch. But with his military life, how long will that last? Something in me is dying inside. I'm not going to deny it anymore. It's probably why I'm having so much trouble keeping up with both the real and fictional world. Everything is so hard to see, reach and touch. This loneliness… is like an invisible wall that is closing in on me while I feel myself sink into an expanding void. The lights I look up to for inspiration… snuffed out, just like that, each time I try to reach out to them. It's almost as if I have to look away from those that remain so they can stay shining brightly before this… void… figures out that they're there and snuffs them out too.
I'm a fish in a fish bowl. There's no reef for me. I can see a whole world beyond but each time I swim out to it, I meet my face with the glass. They say that there are other fish in the see. But there are none in this bowl with me. None… who can be with me.
I am… alone…
Erza is sick and dying. I'm too far away to be of any real help since we have no gas to get to her. From the sounds of it she was either poisoned recently or had Harvo long before we adopted her and has now reached her limit. I just ran out of minutes so I can't advise sis on what to do next besides what I already have. Worse, the emergency rooms for animals here are full of sh******. They won't take her and give her emergency care unless we hand cash in first. They rather watch the animal die than just bill us like a normal emergency room would. She's going to die and I can't even go there to hold her. I can go there and pull a sudden miracle out of my hat in hopes that she'll survive. This would be the third or fourth day since sis started calling me about the emergency. Erza quickly degraded from lethargic behavior and refusal to eat to vomiting blood as of last night. I can't look her previous owner in the eye anymore. Either someone has a mental problem and is targeting their fun at my sisters pets, or Erza was already sick to begin with and the disease had incubated itself for enough time to become deadly. I'm leaning toward poisoning because recent events were too suspicious. Down to children messing around with her when they weren't supposed to and then suddenly she's a different dog overnight. As usual, kids don't want to confess what they did or why.
Unfortunately as explained in earlier journals, much earlier on when I first joined DA, kids murdering other people's pets for fun then denying it is quite common. Parents defend their kids saying their incapable of any wrong and then they complain years later when they have to wonder why they have to bail their sons for murder.
I'm not saying that these kids did such thing. But the sequence of events that lead to today show that it's evident and that the possibility is there. And with my sister's belongings and pets. Never with anyone else's. It's suspicious and if continues you can bet I'm gonna put my foot down.
--- It's hours later after that earlier bit. And I was pretty much right. She died earlier this morning. And unfortunately for the "ladies" I feel strong suspicions over, they are not welcome in my home nor allowed near anything I consider to be mine anymore. If sis wants to keep close with them because they're her bf's nieces, that's ok. After all it is her decision. But they are not my family. I gave them a chance and several times they returned it with one form of disrespect or another. They talk shizzle behind people's backs and think we're not listening; worse, that I don't hear them do it when their right next to the window, and now they targeted the babes. The animal babes. So, that being said, Saul and his parents can still be considered family to me after the wedding, and some ways they kind of already are. But the girls, nope. Not in my book.
There's an old saying. If someone is willing to do it to your dog and gets away with it, what's to stop them from trying it with you. And if someone DOES try it with sis… that someone is gonna regret it.
This week has been a continuous quest for a stupid hotspot. Plaza Del Sol was … crappy. Burger King was unreliable. Now it's off to office max. I'm trying to not only get in touch with you guys but also with my job applications and hopefully send my resume and mom's to a great many places.
On the bright side, Mom's classes start soon and she said I could come with. That means that while she does homework, I can get back on top of things again and stay on top. PS. For reasons related to my predicament, complicated commissions such as clothing, full canvas digital/traditional art and large animations will have to be requested by mail. The details will be unveiled in the booklet I am hoping to upload as soon as possible once finished. Much of that I already explained.
Also, besides building up inventory and finishing the Lumina Cosplay set for I'm also getting started on my own uunca hoodie of Namu. It's so you guys can FINALLY preview that hand work. One preview will be the hoodie without the tail and the next will be the same hood but with the tail. Wish me luck. It's so much work as it is.
And there's Kittycharms rainbow kitty Ladarius. That one is also due and being worked on.
, your commission is being a royal pain in the *** XD. It was well ahead when the program froze and all my work went down the dumps. Made me so maaaad. LOL. Guess Grave Riser is still shy in public. Don't worry, I'll keep at it until its finished. The excuses are getting old and karma is ticking me off for that fact. But I promised you this thing so I'm gonna stick to it.
Here's to tomorrow… maybe -_-…
SUCCESS! But only on a few things. Mom got hired. Hurray! I found a good hot spots, at least for apps… weee… moms reume was also sent and personal issues are resolving themselves.
Since I am typing this rather than posting, you can guess that no, I wasn't given enough time to publish things. Oh well…. At least we got some shizzile done.
See yall later.
I'm crying… finally. It's stupid and I feel pathetic. I'm writing here every so often and its starting to look more like personal diary than a journal. Writing to everyone knowing that there won't be a reply. Not today, not tomorrow nor the day after that. It's becoming clear that I'm in denial. That I refuse to accept that I'm trapped in exile. No contact with the outside world. Not even on a pay phone. Family never calls. I can't get in touch with friends, all the while they just type away at computer screens. Again, I am forced to realize that I am alone. I can't leave without putting my life in jeopardy. I can't stay without getting silently angry at something. I must smile all day or be inquired about my unhappy state and no one will like the answer. The answer will always be: it's not our fault. Im not blaming anyone but just saying that doesn't solve it.
The circumstances that prevented me from getting a job at fifteen are back again at 22. I'll be 23 and still be the homeless fool at my parents' house. Only now I won't even be courted. Most of the people on this hill are drunks. The people who I thought could lead to something never came for me. The probably just gave up like everyone else. My sister was born when my mother was 23. I was born shortly after when she was somewhere between 24-25. I know I shouldn't compare but still… no true love here yet, I guess.
I'm considering finishing my master's degree here although it's not what I wanted… but how? I need a job to pay the college. But what good does that do me if I can't even get one.
I have no idea if anything is going on, on my dA, on my shop, WHATEVER!!!
I know I should quit writing since you'll probably never read this but like a selfish blind hoped idiot, I don't. Many of the unseen are laughing at me now. Many of the heavenly watch without me knowing their thoughts. I don't know how this will end or even when things will change. I try to seize opportunities but even on the phone while I'm trying to apply for a job the attendants prank me thinking I don't know the game. The cover the phone so I can't hear what the job is about while they talk. They place adds for employment on the newspaper but when you call they make fun of you before you even start talking.
I'm hating it here again. Worse… I can't even leave.
Sis, if you ever get the chance to read this… please visit… its lonely and everyone seems to just want me to go away.
I finally have net connection since I'm at the hospital. Not much to say today so don't expect a full response till Thursday. Ugh… this is long.